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Creating Confidence in Every Conversation

confidence

Think of a recent social or business gathering you attended. Who were the people that you were drawn to? I bet that they were the ones who exuded confidence. You probably remember them well because these people radiate a warmth and enthusiasm that magnetized others toward them. People with an authentic, confident approach are comfortable in many environments and see networking situations as expansion opportunities, while less confident people often hide in the background or stick closely to people they know.

If you are lacking authentic confidence and its showing up in your business interactions; you are not alone. We all yearn to have confidence; to feel empowered by simply being ourselves. Yet the truth is everyone can use a confidence boost every once and a while. Confidence is not something you achieve and then hold perfectly in place forever. Here are a few tips to help you cultivate and project confidence and master any conversation you’re in.

Cultivating Authentic Confidence

1. Nothing to Prove.
The moment you stop trying to prove yourself to others is the moment real confidence can begin to grow.  As people, we are all on equal footing and as you embrace the concept of nothing to prove, you will feel a release of pressure – the pressure that comes from trying to meet the expectations of others. As you embrace and build your own blend of talents, and pursue the things you love to do, others will marvel and want to know your secret.  

2. Do What You Love.
If you’re looking to build confidence, there is nothing better than doing the things that make you feel confident. Understanding and playing to your strengths is the best way to do so. Your body and your brain both LOVE IT when you indulge in the things you were designed to do. In return, they will reward you with magnetic energy and a level of competence that people can’t help but admire.

3. Have a Routine of Positive Self-Talk.
As I mentioned in a previous blog, positive affirmations can really change your presence. Give yourself positive messages that remind you of your strengths, talents and successes. Here are some simple positive self-talk tips to try.

Project Authentic Confidence

Cultivating real confidence is the goal, and yet it can be just as important to fake-it-while-you-make-it.  Here are a few easy-to-implement tips that will get you showing up with charm and poise.

1. Smile.
One trait of confident people is that they aren’t afraid to smile – with their mouth and their eyes. This act creates positive energy within you, so even when you feel nervous, it doesn’t show on your face. This, in turn, exudes confidence as you talk to others.

2. Show Interest.
People with confidence care about others. Take the focus off yourself and put it on others by asking thoughtful questions and listening with interest.

3. Be Still.
It’s common to fidget with your hands, especially when you’re nervous. However, that is a clear sign to others that you aren’t confident in what you’re saying and/or doing. To refrain from doing this, consider keeping your focus on your breathing, instead. This helps relax your overall nerves and limits any fidgeting.

New situations can make anyone feel a bit anxious and uncertain. By applying these simple tips, you will be on your way to feeling less nervous, more empowered, and more confident.

Over the years I’ve worked with thousands of leaders and have helped many to discover their unique talents and use them in their everyday work to elevate performance, improve relationships and eliminate stress. If you want to be more confident and more successful, I can help. Schedule a FREE strategy call with me and we’ll discuss the steps you need to take to show up confidently in every conversation. Click here to sign up for a time slot.

Stress, Be Gone! How to Manage the Daily Stressors

stress

Do you ever get so overwhelmed in your personal or professional life that you feel like you’re just trying to stay afloat? When our minds are saturated with endless tasks, stress begins to kick in and we aren’t able to operate at our full potential. We start to work from the emotional parts of our brain instead of the logical, preventing us from making decisions that serve our best interests.

Simply put: too much stress negatively impacts your life and can prohibit success. Daily stressors will always exist, so the key is to learn how to eliminate the stress toxins that build up in the body. Below are some steps you can take to calm your nervous system whenever stress kicks into high gear.

  1. Stop Thinking.
    Even though you may be having a bad day or even a bad week, push the pause button for a second and reframe your thought patterns. Put things into perspective. Think about the many things you can be grateful for – starting with the positive people in your life. Focusing on those we love and what is good in our lives is a powerful way to control our body’s response to stress and keep things in check.

  2. Breathe Deeply.
    It might seem silly at first, yet oftentimes we forget to start with the basics and just BREATHE! This ancient practice instantly reduces stress and allows us to tap into our creative energy. And from our creative resources, we can find the solutions we need.

  3. Let Go.
    Make of list of the things that overwhelm you. Then, put a check next to the things you can control or influence. For the items that remain unchecked, take a minute to acknowledge that you cannot control them and let go of the idea of doing so.

    Then, with the items you checked off as being in your control, start going through that list and strategize how to tackle those items.

  4. Move It.
    To help reduce the stress hormones in your system, it’s time to get moving! Stretch, walk, bounce; move however you need to to get the stress toxins out of your body.

  5. Drink Water.
    We all know that water fuels your body, but did you know that it can reduce your stress levels as well? Studies have shown that dehydration can lead to an increase in the stress hormone, cortisol. So just by sipping your water, you will see a decrease in your stress levels and feel the effects of reduced stress.  

Work-related issues such as inter-office politics, constant deadlines, feeling overwhelmed, being stuck in dead-end roles are all frustrating and persistent problems that can exacerbate your stress levels and make life miserable. If you are dealing with work-related stress and you want to eliminate it – I can help. To find out more, schedule a free strategy call with me. Together, we’ll create a game plan on how to address your situation, relieve your stress and move forward with more success. Click here to sign up for a time slot.

Be ANYTHING But Boring

boring speaker

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a conversation with someone and you slowly see their attention fade away? The glaze in their eyes appears and your panic starts to set in. The last thing you can afford to do is bore your audience, especially if you’re trying to create a connection, gain buy-in or simply be seen as a competent, engaging professional. There is a definite art to creating authentic conversations that lead you to the right opportunities. Whether you’re in a high-profile meeting or simply chatting with one of your co-workers, using these tips outlined below will help you be ANYTHING but boring in your next conversation.

  1. Be brief, be bright and be gone.  
    When you’re telling a story or want to share some important information, think of your points in terms of soundbites. Soundbites are created to convey a point and be remembered. If you tend toward loquaciousness (being wordy) then practice saying sentences of 10 words or less. Do not talk about yourself unless answering a direct question, and even then stick to one or two soundbites.

  2. Volley the conversation.
    What makes sports so fun is the engagement between competitors and moving the ball around. Apply this principle to your conversations and you’ll come out a winner. Getting into a habit of volleying the conversation back and forth is simple – especially when you are talking in soundbites. Once you’ve shared your information, turn the conversation over to the other person. This graceful act shows that you are interested in really listening to and connecting with your audience. People will leave their conversations with you feeling heard and valued.

  3. Change up your repertoire.
    Roger was one of the most charming, confident and engaging executives I’ve ever met, yet he had a fatal flaw…he shared the same stories and anecdotes over and over. It was so bad that his staff could re-tell his stories verbatim. I don’t have to tell you that this hurt his credibility big time. The brain loves novelty, it’s hardwired to tune in and listen. So use this kernel of information to keep your audience mesmerized with new stories, metaphors, jokes, etc.  

    This also applies to the questions you ask others. It’s helpful to have a general list of questions to ask people you are just meeting. However, for people you see more often, dig deeper and challenge yourself to ask fresh questions each time you see someone.

Practicing these three communication techniques will bring the right connections your way. Instead of running away from you, they’ll be drawn to your side, eager to have a chat, hear your insights and share their own.  

Acing social conversations can accelerate your climb up the corporate ladder. For a lot of people, effortless connecting can be a challenge, yet it doesn’t have to be. If this is something you struggle with, I can help. I’m offering a free 30-minute call where together, we can develop a connection strategy that’s right for you.  Click here to reserve time with me today.